Back to Bangkok

6th-7th Nov

Very little needs to be said about our journey back to Bangkok. We got on the boat and after a much smoother crossing than previously we got off it again at Chumphorn on the mainland. We then boarded the bus, waved tearful goodbyes to the beach and sat (uncomfortably) for 8 hours until reaching Bangkok around 8:30pm. I`d like to say we spent our last night partying till the early hours and woke up in an unknown location with hazy memories of the night before, but it would be a lie. Instead, we went back to our original hotel, showered, put on our complimentary hotel dressing gowns, and sat in our twin beds watching a Bond film on the movie channel and drinking Singha beer from the mini-bar. There`s no denying it: we are definitely the wrong side of 25.

Lisa left for the airport the following morning, leaving me with a whole day in Bangkok during which to amuse myself - and to be honest, I don`t think I did a bad job. I started my day at Jim Thompson`s House, an old Thai house/museum owned by an American architect, who moved to Thailand in the 1940s and lived there until he mysteriously disappeared in 1967 whilst on holiday in Malaysia. It`s a really attractive place, well worth a visit if you`re passing...pretty gardens, a house packed full of beautiful antique furniture and art collected by the aforementioned Jim Thompson and a cafe that serves very good cheesecake (I heard).

Afterwards, I caught the skytrain (which is not nearly as exciting as it sounds - just a subway train that runs above ground) down to Silom and headed for Lumphini Park to potter about, write a few postcards and go lizard-spotting (or more accurately, get the sh*t scared out of me by a 2-foot iguana-type thing that leapt out of the bushes at me). So far, so good: a very peaceful and relaxing day. Bangkok was redeeming itself. Next, I hopped back on the skytrain to the Hindu Temple of Sri Mariamman. It was smaller than the guidebook would lead you to believe, but very colourful and made a nice change from all those gold, shiny buddhas. My final stop of the day was a return to Khao San Road, where I burned my photos onto CD, did some last-minute shopping and, worn-out by the whole independent traveller thing, retreated to Starbucks for a nice cup of tea. I had to admit that Bangkok really wasn`t that bad after all - even the tuk tuk drivers seemed less pushy this time around; I practically had to throw myself in front of one to get back to the hotel. Ironically I seemed to have adjusted to life in Thailand just in time to get back on the plane to Japan. Back at the hotel I ate dinner in a restaurant alone for the first time ever, which although not preferable to communal dining at least meant that for once I finished at the same time as everyone else at the table. And then, before I knew it, it was time to catch a taxi to the airport and I realised that my holiday was well and truly over.

Goodbye Thailand! I shall miss your mouth-scorching food, your ridiculously low prices, your smiley people (even the ones that tried to rob us) and your breathtaking scenery. But maybe one day I`ll be back? I certainly hope so.

Ko Tao

3rd-6th Nov

Unfortunately we had less than 24 hours to spend in Ko Samui before moving on to the smaller island of Ko Tao, slightly to the north. We arrived there around lunchtime, following a boat trip that made me wish I was back on that elephant. The water was too choppy for us to go up on deck, so instead we were trapped inside in what was basically a cinema. It was a toss-up which was more likely to induce vomiting first: the movie that was being shown - `How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days`- which was cheesier than the cheese counter at Sainsburys, or the violently undulating horizon. Luckily both Lisa and I just about survived with our breakfast intact, but it took a while after we docked for the sensation of being on an old rickety rollercoaster to subside.

Once we had recovered we spent the afternoon exploring our new surroundings. Ko Tao is a lot less developed and commercialised than Ko Samui, for which reason our accommodation was a little more rustic, although still perfectly adequate, and located in similarly attractive gardens complete with swimming pool. Later that evening we met up with my good friend Mr Fells, last seen holding a bottle of champagne whilst slaughtering `Fly Me to the Moon` at my leaving do (a chilling portent of things to come). He had very graciously agreed to interrupt his world tour to join us for a few days and had luckily been able to find himself a bungalow at our resort. After dinner at the restaurant we headed into the local village in search of some excitement. However, it appeared that excitement during low season in Ko Tao was not an easy thing to find: by 11pm everything was closed for the night. Disappointed, we wandered back towards our resort, which is when we spotted (or rather heard) the karaoke bar. As someone who has been resident in Japan for almost a year this made me very excited. It didn`t have quite the same effect on my two karaoke-virgin friends, but after a bit of gentle persuasion I managed to get them to go in, promising that we could leave after an hour. Three-and-a-half hours and several bottles of Chang beer later, we all stumbled out with glowing faces and sore throats, having murdered just about every song in the English repertoire from Frank Sinatra (of course), to the Carpenters and, bizarrely, `Pretty Fly for a White Guy` by The Offspring. I had succeeded in making two karaoke converts and I dare say a few musicians were turning in their graves and inserting earplugs that night.

As a result of our previous night`s exploits neither Lisa nor I made it out of bed before 1pm the next day. We spent it doing all the things people are supposed to do on holiday: sunbathing, swimming and eating. Our alcohol consumption that night was a lot more subdued and we were tucked up in bed at the same time as the rest of the island.

The following day saw us making a much earlier start, as we had booked a snorkelling trip around the island. Ko Tao is renowned for being one of the best diving spots in Thailand; however, due to fears about claustrophobia and, to be honest, drowning, we decided to opt for an activity that would keep at least some parts of us above the water. There`s nothing scary about snorkelling...or so we imagined. I was expecting to swim out from the beach and stay in water not too far out of my depth. I was therefore a little perturbed when our guide stopped the boat in rough, open water near a group of rocks known as `Shark Island`, chucked us each a pair of flippers and a mask, and told us to jump in. Hmmm, maybe I`ll just stay put and think about it for a while. Needless to say though we made it in eventually, and once I`d acquired a lifejacket and ditched the flippers, which were more of a hinderance than a help, it really wasn`t that bad. The next four stops proved to be a lot less intimidating: the water was calmer and clearer, the shore was closer and there were no further mentions of sharks. And the fish were just incredible - blue ones, orange ones, stripy ones, spotty ones - it was like sminning in an aquarium. Our last call of the day was at an idyllic island called Ko Nang Yuan, where we stopped for a couple of hours for swimming and sunbathing. Which is where the trouble started. When I got home and took a shower I realised that I had got a bit sunburnt. Ok, so that`s an understatement: I`d practially fried my butt cheeks off, as well as acquiring a stripe about 2 inches wide across my lower back where the top of my swimsuit hadn`t quite reached the bottom. This made both sitting down and fastening my trousers extremely difficult, which was a little inconvenient considering our 8-hour bus journey back to Bangkok the next day, where it would be necessary for the ease and comfort of the other passengers to do both.

That evening, in order to dull the pain afflicting our poor chargrilled bodies we set off for the strip of restaurants and bars around Sairee Beach. It is a truth universally acknowledged that the best way to cancel out pain in one part of your body is to make another one hurt even more. It must have been a subconscious awareness of this that led us to the restaurant on the beach where everything on the menu seemed to have been lovingly prepared with the sole aim of removing the roof of your mouth. Poor old Danny had to admit defeat with the salad he ordered, where chillies were outnumbering every other ingredient about five to one. Lisa made a valiant attempt with the green curry but eventually that proved too much as well. True to form I was the only one who made it over the finish line, in all likelihood due to the fact that at the speed I eat the food never has a chance to touch the sides, let alone burn them. By the time my plate was clear though my lips were positively on fire, and it took three hastily downed glasses of cold white wine before normality returned, to my mouth if not my head.

In an attempt to do anything which didn`t involve setting any part of our anatomies on fire we wandered down to the seafront to check out the festival that was happening that week. We think this was a smaller version of the flower festival of Loi Krathong, which had started in Chiang Mai (unfortunately) just as we were leaving. People released small floats containing candles on to the river, as well as small illuminated hot-air balloons into the sky - very pretty. We thought about joining in, but at 800 baht (about ten pounds) a go it seemed a little extortionate, so we resigned ourselves to merely spectating. Yet another good day, but sadly almost our last, as the next morning we would be on a bus back to the capital.

Ko Samui

2nd-3rd Nov

We left Chiang Mai first thing on Thursday morning. In order to cut down the time spent travelling we had booked an internal flight down to Ko Samui, an island in the Gulf of Thailand. We landed there around 1pm, at what was possibly the smallest, most chilled-out airport in the world; it would have been easy to miss it, mistaking it for a beach hut. We then got a minibus to our hotel, a picturesque place right next to the beach, with pretty wooden bungalows arranged in a garden full of trees, so Tolkienesque that I half expected little men with hairy feet to be hiding in the bushes (although was relieved that this didn`t prove to be true, as that would have been creepy). Our first glimpse of southern Thailand was not a disppointment. After dumping our bags in our room we made our way down to the beachside bar, where we sat drinking fresh fruit shakes, staring at the miles of white sand and perfect blue sea...ahhh, welcome to Paradise. We spent the afternoon adjusting to the slower pace of beach life, lazing on sun loungers and swimming in the sea. Then in the evening we ate dinner by candelight, listening to the waves hit the shore (at this point it did occur to us that the romantic setting was a bit wasted on us, but there wasn`t much we could do about that). I kid you not, life really can be that good.

Chiang Mai

30th Oct-2nd Nov

My first impressions of Chiang Mai were very favourable. Although a fairly sizeable city it lacked the in-your-faceness of Bangkok; yes, the tuk tuk drivers still asked if you needed a taxi, but they were also more than happy to take no for an answer. We stayed in a cheap and cheerful guesthouse - about two pounds fifty each for a room with air-con and a hot-water shower. Can`t really complain about that. Feeling a bit spaced out from our journey we spent the first afternoon exploring Chiang Mai at a leisurely pace. In the evening we decided to brave the Night Bazaar, which is a huge bargain-hunter`s heaven, touristy but still substantially classier than the night market we`d chanced upon in Kanchanaburi, which bore an uncanny resemblance to St Neots market, proof that chavs are an international phenomenon. After trying our hands at haggling - and demonstrating what amateurs we were - we stopped at the food court nearby to get some dinner and watch a display of Thai dancing. Unfortunately my sudden craving for Indian curry backfired and resulted in us making a speedy return to our guesthouse much earlier than anticipated so that I could be within easy reach of certain facilities. So much for my stomach of iron.

The following day we decided to hire bikes to explore Chiang Mai in style. I`ve ridden a bike every day for the past nine months or so, so I wasn`t unduly worried by this prospect. However, as I soon discovered riding a bike in Japan, where everyone rides on the pavement, is very different from attempting to dodge the traffic on a busy road in Thailand. Within about ten minutes we had come to the conclusion that there are, quite simply, no rules.

me (to Lisa, slightly tentatively): I think the red lights are meant to be for bikes as well.
Lisa (a little annoyed): well those cars all drove straight through it.

She had a point.

Having now had a few days to recover from the temple fatigue we set off on a whirlwind tour of Chiang Mai`s not-to-be-missed Buddhist sites (we managed three: Wat Chiang Man, Wat Phra Singh and Wat Chedi Luang). After looking round the second one we noticed a sign advertising `Monk Chat`, where you could interview a monk of your choice about Buddhism, Thailand or pretty much anything else you fancied within the realms of decency. Good old Lonely Planet did stipulate that female visitors should refrain from making physical contact with the monks, no doubt to avoid luring then into temptation. By this time, however, we had been cycling around for over an hour in the sweaty heat along dusty roads; the monks were pretty safe: there was absolutely nothing tempting about us. Given some advenced warning I`d like to think I could have prepared some dazzlingly intelligent theological questions to ask our monk. However, suddenly confronted with said monk, sitting around a picnic table outside a temple I confess that my mind went completely blank. Lisa was equally tongue-tied, so to avoid the embarrassment of neither of us speaking at all I stuttered out whatever flew into my head, the result being that we left knowing a little about reincarnation and a lot about what monks eat for breakfast. By late afternoon we were all templed-out again, so had a brief look round one of the local markets then headed out to a riverside restaurant for dinner. This was lovely and made all the more enjoyable by the band playing - or more accurately, miming, sometimes not all that convincingly - covers of Western songs. Another excellent day.

For our final day in Chiang Mai we booked a one-day safari, having admitted from the start that we were not hardcore enough for full-on trekking. Our first stop was the Maesa Elephant Camp, about 30 minutes outside Chiang Mai. Shortly after arriving we were treated to an elephant show. I`d been led to believe that this would consist of a short display of the elephants` forestry skills, so was slightly disturbed when instead the trainers made them perform tricks. What surprised me most was that we seemed to be the only members of the primarily Western audience who appeared bothered by this. Maybe it`s true that us Brits are just a bit soft when it comes to animals (she said, somewhat hypocritically, having taken advantage of the fact that steak was about 3 quid a go to munch her way through a large slab of cow the night before). After the show was over we got to do the one thing I`d been banging on about for weeks: ride an elephant. And it was at this point that I discovered something about myself: I get elephant sick. I had expected it to be bumpy, but I hadn`t reckoned on the fact we would also be going up and down hills, or on the enthusiasm of our driver, who seemed intent on racing all the others back to the camp. After about ten minutes I was looking pretty green. Fortunately there were another thirty to go, before the guides thought it would be fun to transfer us to an ox-cart with an even more deranged driver. By the time we arrived back the contents of my stomach were hanging on for dear life. But it was still cool, or at least preferable to being at work - and the day got more relaxing from then on. After lunch we were taken on a trip down the river on a bamboo raft, an experience greatly enhanced by the fact we got to wear pointy straw hats. When we got back in the minibus our guide informed us that we had some spare time and asked if we`d like to see a snake show. As someone whose primary aim for the holiday was avoiding anything without legs I soon put a stop to that ridiculous idea and he drove us to an orchid farm instead.

That evening we tackled the Night Bazaar again. Our haggling skills were definitely improving and we returned to our guesthouse feeling quite smug with our efforts. I was going to miss Chiang Mai; it had been a good few days.

The Night Train

29th-30th October

I was expecting the 14-hour train journey from Bangkok to Chiang Mai to be one of the least pleasurable aspects of our holiday; in reality it actually turned out to be one of the most entertaining. The train left at 10pm on Sunday evening. When we got on board our seats had already been converted into bunks, which were surprisingly comfortable, so much so that the majority of the other passengers got straight into bed and pulled their curtains around them. How sociable. We opted instead to grab a beer and stay up chatting to a couple of other backpackers, a guy from Belgium and an English bloke from Milton Keynes who bore a striking resemblance to Martin Clunes and wrote disturbingly explicit poems about Care Bears (which he was more than happy to share). We then disposed of the last of the sake and went to bed around 2am. I slept a bit in spite of the bumpiness of the ride and the tendency of the train to screech and lurch about as if it was de-railing every time it pulled out of a station. I awoke to the sight of trees and mountains as we approached Northern Thailand. It all looked so green - which after 10 months in Nagoya seemed a wonderful thing.

Kanchanaburi

27th-29th October

After a final visit to the breakfast buffet on Friday morning we left Bangkok to catch the bus to Kanchanaburi, 130km to the west of the capital. This area of Thailand is a popular tourist destination, primarily due to the fact that it`s home to the infamous Bridge on the River Kwai and the `Death Railway` constructed by Allied PoWs during the Second World War. That afternoon we paid a visit to the Thailand-Burma Railway Centre, an interesting and thoughtfully-presented museum, which explained the history of the railway. Having lived in Japan for the past ten months it was a strange experience to read about all the atrocities committed by the Japanese during the war; however, from a historical perspective I have to admit it was morbidly fascinating, as well as, ineveitably, deeply shocking. Feeling a little subdued we returned to our guesthouse, which helped to lighten the mood a bit. The place we stayed was fantastic, set in beautiful tropical gardens. Our room even boasted an open-air shower, which seemed like a wonderful idea until you noticed how many different species of bug you were sharing it with and started discovering bites in places other mosquitoes couldn`t reach.

For our only full day in Kanchanaburi we decided to go on an organised tour. I made the mistake of wearing the baseball T-shirt Thom had given me when he come back from the US. As soon as we got on the minibus the guy sitting next to me looked at me with interest:

him: I couldn`t help noticing your Twins T-shirt. Are you from Minnesota?
me: No, I`m English. Someone gave me this T-shirt.
him: Oh (pause)...do you like baseball then?
me: No idea, never watched any.

The next 40 minutes of the journey were spent in silence.

Our first stop was Erawan National Park to see the stunningly beautiful waterfalls there. There are seven in total, but we were only energetic enough to make it up to the fourth, afterwhich we ambled back down to the third to go swimming. Sounds idyllic...and would have been if it hadn`t been for the fish that bit you every time you put a foot in the water - not hard, but purposefully enough to make you think they might be considering you as a lunch option. (Historical note: apparently they used to dip wounded prisoners in the water during the war, so that the fish could gnaw off their gangrene. Nice.) After ten minutes of pathetic girly shrieking however, we made it in - and it was well worth it: the water was amazing and I floated around feeling like some kind of water nymph...until I looked down and saw my pasty, wobbly English body protruding from my Tesco`s swimsuit. Reality is a cruel thing.

After lunch we went to see Hellfire Pass, a section of the Death Railway so named by wartime observers because their visions of the emaciated prisoners hacking at the rocks by lamplight had conjured up images of Hell. The walk through the cutting was a sobering experience, made worse by the smiling Thai tourists (I`m guessing they weren`t Japanese) posing for photographs next to the war memorials (am I alone in finding this slightly inappropriate?) Our day was supposed to finish with a visit to the Tiger Temple, where Buddhist monks care for rescued tigers. However, when we arrived there we found that it was closed, which seemed of little interest or concern to our ineffectual guide, but p*ssed the rest of us off no end. No tigers for us then. We were taken instead to see the River Kwai bridge, which, although moving, has become something of a tourist trap - I refrained from purchasing an `I love Kwai` T-shirt.

Our last morning in Kanchanaburi was spent visiting the JEATH museum - a collection of photos, press-cuttings and other wartime memorabilia housed in a bunker similiar to those inhabited by the PoWs in Japanese camps - and wandering round the war cemeteries. We were then packed in like sardines on a bus back to Bangkok, ready to catch the overnight train to Chiang Mai that night.

Bangkok

24th-27th October

I arrived in Bangkok around 10pm on a Tuesday night, after a flight made slightly more nerve-wracking than it should have been by the salaryman sitting behind me who kept trying to use his mobile phone - until the smiley Japanese stewardess informed him that this was likely to screw up the plane`s radar system and kill us all. I love flying with JAL: as well as the overly attentive cabin crew you`re usually provided with 3 seats to yourself, free wine and a personal TV screen on which you can play video games or choose from a fairly wide selection of movies, of which mercifully `Snakes on a Plane` wasn`t one. Lisa met me at the airport, which was fantastic as I hadn`t seen her since leaving the UK in January. After some faffing about we managed to locate a taxi, which delivered us at hair-raising speed to our hotel (pretty decent - cheers, Lonely Planet). After a couple of glasses of sake from a bottle I`d purchased earlier at Chubu Airport, we went to bed in preparation for hitting Bangkok bright and early the next day.

We made it up in time for breakfast the following morning, which turned out to be an excellent move. On arrival in the restaurant we were confronted with a huge buffet: Thai curry, rice, soup, eggs, bacon, salad, cereal, toast, fruit etc. etc. You name it, you can eat it for breakfast in Thailand. I love buffets. This was looking like it would turn out to be my kind of country. Unfortunately breakfast proved to be just about the high point of Day One. Within ten minutes of leaving our hotel, armed with a map of the city and (of course) a copy of Lonely Planet, we realised that Bangkok was in fact an extremely hot, extremely polluted city. Having just about survived the summer in the concrete sauna that was Nagoya I appeared to have volunteered to repeat the experience...and hot weather makes me grumpy. Add to the heat hordes of pushy tuk tuk drivers, all attempting to `persuade` us into their motorbike-powered taxis, and my patience boundaries started to feel severely tested; by 5pm `no thank you` had degenerated into language that nice middle-class girls from Cambridgeshire really shouldn`t be using. To make matters more frustrating we naively fell victim to a common scam whereby a helpful Thai local stops to ask where you`re going, then assures you that the temple containing the giant reclining Buddha is currently closed, but that his friend, the equally charming and obliging tuk tuk driver, will happily take you to the much more impressive Temple of the Kneeling Buddha Plucking His Eyebrows for only 10 baht. Did I mention I had my Lonely Planet with me? I obviously hadn`t read page 100 , which gives full details of this particular con. Ah well. The prize for the most creative way of attempting to rip people off must, however, go to the pair of crazy women who planted open bags of birdseed on us so that we got mobbed by a frenzied mass of pigeons, and then tried to charge us for the privilege. No chance, love.

So saying, it wasn`t an entirely wasted day. We made it up to the top of the Golden Mount, which provided us with amazing views over the city, and ate at a very pleasant vegetarian restaurant off Khao San Road. Khao San Road also gave me my first reassuring glimpse of Boots for ten months, where I was able to purchase tubes of REAL toothpaste at half the UK price. I`m not hard to please really.

Day Two was subatantially better. Bangkok still wasn`t making it into my top 10 favourite cities, but it had at least risen above Coventry. Realising that we`d been taken for a ride (sometimes literally) the previous day we decided to forego all offers of assistance from helpful strangers and headed for the Grand Palace and Wat Phra Kaew (the Temple of the Emerald Buddha), which was breathtakingly shiny and spectacular. We then moved on to Wat Po, where we stared with awe at the largest reclining buddha in Thailand (at last)...or maybe the World, I`m not quite sure. Our last stop before lunch was Wat Arun, on the other side of the river, a vast temple decorated in a mosaic of Chinese porcelain. All very impressive. Many photos were taken.

After our productive day`s sightseeing we decided to fight the onset of temple fatigue with a visit to China Town that evening. By chance our visit coincided with a vegetarian food festival: hundreds of lantern-bedecked stalls lined the streets, selling food of every shape and colour - proof that you can do just about anything with a vegetable if you set your mind to it. After consuming noodles and drinking beer through straws, sitting on plastic chairs at the side of the street, we had a brief look at the nearby Chinese temple (one more wouldn`t hurt) and headed back to our hotel. A much better day all around.

Welcome to my blog!

Hi, just thought I`d write a short(ish...kind of) travel diary about mine and Lisa`s recent trip to Thailand, especially as I`ve been too lazy to keep a blog about living in Japan. Be warned: this is not going to be any kind of literary masterpiece - apart from the odd letter to my aunt it`s the first thing I`ve written in about 5 years. So if it`s sparkling wit you`re after, try Danny`s blog; if you want poetic, detailed descriptions of the scenery, try Thom`s (links provided on request); and if you`re just really bored at work, give www.badgerbadgerbadger.com a try. However, if you`ve exhausted all these possibilities and it`s still half an hour till you can possibly justify another tea break this might do the job - and I`ll try to work out how to include some pictures as well for anyone who can`t actually be bothered to read it.

Hope everyone is well, Jo x